I can help you with that through private coaching. Continue reading to see if it’s right for you. First, let’s examine what drives the coaching (the “why”), what propels us toward desired results (the “how), and what goes on during the sessions themselves (the “what).




Curiosity. A dedicated interest in learning about new ideas and perspectives that may or may not contrast with yours.


Openness. A willingness to explore without expectations or conditions.


Problem solving. An analytical approach to tackling complex issues with many layers.


Honesty. Adhering to a system of values that guides ethical behavior.


Self-discovery. The journey of “knowing thyself” fully and authentically.


Growth. The process of using your insights to propel progress and face challenges.



We accomplish this by honing skills in listening to others while communicating your truths in constructive ways. We set boundaries, intentions, and desires so that we can move forward with clear expectations. We hone introspection. We make room for growth by encouraging dedicated time and effort toward improvement. Sometimes I’ll even give you homework!



We tackle fears, answer questions, and address concerns. We dig for the truth in your behavior and conflicts so that we can find concrete solutions. In addition to coaching in my office, we might go on field trips or tackle outside assignments. This is all in an effort to build your ideal structure, set reasonable agreements, and evaluate the dimensions of your relationship.


Note: This is very different from therapy. Coaching occurs in a safe space, but it offers much more than support and validation. I ask the difficult questions and aim to problem solve. Coaching is rewarding work and will equip you with invaluable tools - but it isn't easy!

                                 Concrete Goals

  • Get to know each other and your situation
  • Relieve your immediate anxieties and concerns
  • Redefine what love means to you
  • Establish boundaries, set intentions, and communicate desires
  • Build a foundation for listening, communication, and calibration
  • Develop a healthy relationship with jealousy
  • Become integrated with the sex-positive community


My coaching uses different approaches for different needs. All of them start with a mutual assessment call (MAC) - a free 20 minute call to get a feel for our fit and your situation. From there I can help you choose from the different coaching options.


Note: All coaching packages are available over video chat for those of you who do not live near New York City.


Often times, by the time you are seeking help with your relationship, you are already struggling or in conflict. This is why I encourage “relationship checkups.” It is like an annual health checkup - and I also recommend annual coaching appointments! These three hour sessions can help identify yellow flags early before symptoms start showing and advancing the situation. There are always growth opportunities in relationships; we can too easily lose sight of this and fall back into the familiar. Don’t wait until you are arguing to improve your relationship; let’s do some maintenance now. Suitable for everyone.

watercolor-splash-1Price: $400


Did you hear about non-monogamy and you want to know if it’s right for you? Are you asking yourself questions like, “What about jealousy? How do I date? What about kids?” Then this package is perfect for you. Get all of your questions answered in a personalized session. You will walk away with an expanded knowledge base and tools to deepen your research. This session is suitable for the “poly-curious” or people curious about any kind of alternative relationships.

watercolor-splash-1Price: $300


Do you have a long-term goal you want to address regularly within one month or more? Would you like more time to familiarize me with the nuances of your situation? Are you are looking for support and guidance outside of the coaching sessions? A coaching retainer includes 4 hours of face-to-face sessions (distributed how you choose) and unlimited phone, email and text support. It must be used within 30 days. Note that if you sign up for one during your first session, the fee can be counted toward the retainer package. You must cancel an ongoing retainer one month in advance. Retainers can accommodate solos, couples, triads or more. This option is suitable for those seeking a strategic approach to long-term relationship goals and are looking to design their relationship with ongoing support.

watercolor-splash-1Price: $800


Are you seeking knowledge and information about alternative relationships? Do you just need one session to tackle a specific issue? Do you want to spread your sessions over more than 30 days, with sporadic support at checkpoints? Not sure how many sessions you need or when you will need them? Effy can help you determine how many during your first one, and that session’s fee can be applied toward your selected bundle. These sessions are redeemable at any time without any expiration dates. This option is suitable for those seeking a smart, tactical approach to short-term relationship objectives. Receive help dealing with humps, check-ins, and adjustments along the non-monogamous journey as and when you need them.

watercolor-splash-1 Single session: $230
Three sessions (perfect for solos): $630
Five sessions (perfect for couples): $950


I offer a coaching package for groups that invites up to 6 people to partake in discussion over a private dinner, 7pm-11pm. There will be enough time to get everyone’s voices heard and questions answered. Would you like a group educational session? A mediation? A safe space for exploration or coming out? Join me for a meal. This option is suitable for families, poly networks, a group of friends, or any people looking for a dynamic and customized group coaching session.

watercolor-splash-1Price: $2000


This payment-flexible coaching slot (baked goods accepted) is offered each week on Tuesdays at 9am. The slot is announced on Mondays at noon on my Facebook page. As a special treat to Curious Foxes, the spot can be claimed on the preceding Sunday in the secret Curious Fox Facebook group (message me at my Facebook page to join). First come, first serve. If you don’t get the slot and you can’t afford a regular session, start with the self-study resources on this site or pose a question during “Office Hours.”

watercolor-splash-1Price: up to you!


I offer email coaching to resolve immediate concerns that can be addressed in writing. Why choose email coaching? The benefits are twofold: 1) you can receive guidance, support, and action points in a timely manner and affordable price, and 2) the activity of processing and transcribing your situation will be integral to your progress and understanding. I am happy to answer your email for free if you don’t mind it being publicly published (anonymously, of course) in service to people plagued with similar questions who can learn from your experience. Note that this entails having flexibility about response time within two weeks, whereas private email coaching requests will be addressed immediately. This is suitable for those who do not live near New York City, for those who find writing therapeutic and enlightening, or for those who would like a written reference of our work.

watercolor-splash-1Price: $100 per exchange


There are lots of ways to pay for services, and monetary compensation is only a narrow slice of the vast array of options. I enjoy learning just as much as I enjoy teaching. If you have a valuable skill to trade in exchange for relationship coaching, get in touch. Related topics of expertise could be other coaching modalities, clinical and holistic therapies, body work, entrepenuership… I am dedicated to finding synergy so I encourage you to reach out to discuss the fit.

watercolor-splash-1Price: custom.


For any curious souls, whether or not you are considering coaching, I try to stay accessible to answer questions. Every week I am available for “office hours” over live streaming on my Facebook page. The time is consistent: Thursdays at 12pm noon, Eastern time. Questions will be answered publicly but the level of detail is up to you, and no names will be used. I hope you’ll join me for learning and discussion! Watch past office hour streams and see it in action here.

watercolor-splash-1Price: free.


"Polyamory can seem like a dark, undiscovered landscape to those taking their first steps forward, but Effy's warmth, openness, and curiosity is the sunrise over a placid and beautiful landscape."

Curious Fox



"If I have any advice for others considering a session, it would be to sit with Effy now, whether you feel there is an issue to tackle or not. So much lies under the surface undetectable until, often, it has done the damage. I believe time with Effy and her insight, her observations, can change that."

Coaching Client



"Effy's way of engaging me in conversation evoked an incredible sense of clarity and vulnerability in areas I had previously been unwittingly resistant to facing. Very quickly she made me feel at ease."

Coaching Client

Being photographed at Cosmo for a feature about play parties.
      Satisfaction Guarantee 

I am only interested in doing good work and I am committed to creating a win-win for everyone involved. If, after 60 days of following my guidance, having put forth serious and committed effort, you still feel no progress, then I will refund your money in full. If you’re not satisfied, I’d much rather point you in the direction of someone that can help.mmitted effort, you still feel no progress, then I will refund your money in full. If you’re not satisfied, I’d much rather point you in the direction of someone that can help.




    • You don’t know other people who are exploring non-conventional relationship, or if you do, you’re not sure how to approach them.

    • You are in therapy but you don’t feel supported in the realm of non-conventional relationships.

    • You’ve come to this decision together with your partner or it has been a healthy topic of debate for a while.

    • There are fears on both sides and you are not sure how to address them.

    • There are parts of your sexuality that you want to explore that aren’t compatible with your partner’s sexual interests.
      Or vice-versa.

  • Either one or both of you are attracted to people outside your relationship and can’t figure out how to handle those feelings.


    • You think opening up will save your failing relationship.

    • One of you is putting pressure on the other to open up.

  • You really just want to pursue other lovers, regardless of how it will affect your current relationship.

Ready to start coaching?

Schedule a free 20 minute consultation now! A mutual assessment call (MAC) will help you get to know me and my coaching style. I will help you pick a coaching option that's best for you or point you in the direction of other resources that would better serve your situation.


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